Why A "Quick Check-in" Could Change the Way You Work

Or, let's have fewer meetings and more connections

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Anyone who’s ever started a new job will have been through an induction period. Usually this consists of things like setting your objectives with your manager, a painful hour with the IT team setting up passwords and taking an unflattering photo for your security pass. When I started my new job, however, things were a little different.

For a start, we’re all remote so there was no awkward waiting around for someone to let me in or getting lost on the way to the loo. Nor did we start the day with a run-through of the employee handbook and a discussion about priorities. Instead my first experience of being a partner at Lea_p was the weekly check-in meeting.

Traditionally, a “check-in” at work is always code for “what the fuck is going on with that project and why don’t I already know what the fuck is going on with it?”. Nobody has ever been invited to a “check-in” and felt good about it. I think this is because we see it as a secondary consideration - the thing we do when we realise that the work might not be going in the direction we want it to be, when we realise we might need to take the people into consideration as well as the work.

At Lea_p, however, it’s something a little different. Each week we get on a Zoom call together and talk about what is going on in our lives. Topics covered recently have included house moves, new relationships, taking up Padel and chickens. Everybody gets a chance to talk - we don’t clock watch but we do keep an eye on the time - and you can discuss as much or as little as you like. We absolutely do not talk about work.

Our weekly check-ins last about an hour. If you were paranoid about productivity it would be easy to see this as a waste of an hour. After all, there might be emails we need replies to or clients we want some advice on, all of which has to wait for a time outside of the check-in. It’s not like we’ve forgotten about the work that has to be done, in fact we’ll often go on to have another meeting right after our check-in which is about work. (I know, the productivity ninjas are horrified at this double up of meetings which could in fact just be a series of emails). But the thing is, that time spent checking-in - that’s what makes all the other parts of our working lives so much easier.

When we have at best only a vague idea of what is going on with the people around us, it’s very easy for us to make their actions about us. Someone fails to reply to an email and we wonder why they’re ignoring us. Or they’re sit stoney-faced through our presentation and we’re annoyed that all the work we’ve put into it has been instantly dismissed. Or they turn up to a meeting at the end of the week buzzing with energy and we can’t understand what they’ve got to be so happy about while we’re longing for the weekend. However, a check-in alleviates this. We know that an unreplied to email is more likely to be about the new sofa arriving as it is anything else. We can feel the new relationship energy that our colleague is giving off and use it to boost our mood, rather than fear they’ve lost the plot. Most of all, we can start to see each other as humans - fallible and funny as we are - and have more time and space for each other because of that.

And check-ins don’t have to be applied just to work. Take your significant other out for date night or your children to the park and leave your phone at home. Call your friends in the evening (you know, like your parents did back in the days of landlines) and talk about what’s going on in your lives, rather than just making plans by text message and then cancelling them in the same way. Or do as I and a friend do, where we call each other for a “blurt” - a short download of everything that is going in our lives, followed by an equally short response from the other party. No fixing, debating or deep discussion required, just a sharing of information.

If you think your team (or your family) could do with some check-in time, then here are the guidelines you need to make it work:

1. Make it a priority. This is the most important rule. It’s not a nice to have, it’s a necessity - treat it accordingly.

2. No fixing required. This isn’t a forum to get into lots of discussion or focus on one person’s problems and try to solve them. It’s just a space to share and be heard.

3. Make sure everyone is heard. This doesn’t mean you have to allocate a specific time to everyone, but it does mean that everyone in the group takes responsibility for self-managing and not taking over the entire session.

4. Be honest. It can feel uncomfortable sharing details of your personal life with your colleagues but it is worth it. Let people see a little bit of the real you - not just what you did at the weekend but how you felt about it. You’ll be surprised how much easier your colleagues are to deal with when you know that they’re cat had to be taken to the vet on Sunday and while they’re glad the cat is still alive, they’re horrified by the bill.

5. Leave it in the room. You don’t have to take what you’ve discussed in the check-in to every meeting. Nor do you need to keep “checking-in”. Trust that if your colleagues want to discuss it more, they will. One of the surprisingly wonderful things about the check-in is how quickly it can establish trust without us having to do very much.

There’s a micro-version of the check-in that I like to do with my coaching clients too. If I turn up to a coaching call and I see that someone is not really present or can’t seem to focus on what they’re saying, I’ll ask them if there’s anything they’d like to have a two minute rant about. I’ve yet to have anyone turn me down on this, and so they get two minutes to just let loose on whatever is annoying them. And then we move onto the coaching session. Sometimes we just need to be heard.

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