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Betina Cunado's avatar

I am a Lawyer, and during the first ten years of my career, a Divorce Lawyer. And I remember thinking it should be mandatory for women marrying divorced men to meet the first wives. I think the same goes with girlfriends. I really hope your ex’s new girlfriend reads your post!

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Harriet Minter's avatar

Ha! This is probably a very good policy! x

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Natalie Lue's avatar

Ack, the mindfuckery takes a while to process. You wonder how you could be ‘taken in’ by their lies and mental gymnastics and how you could override yourself. Until you remember how hard they worked to make you doubt yourself and believe them in the first place. He planted the seed about her early in your relationship and then had the brass neck to wonder why your doubts grew from there. I'm 100% sure it's not all sweetness and light with her; that's just the societal fantasy and oppression women have been sold where we believe that the ‘right’ woman makes a man spontaneously combust into a better partner.

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Harriet Minter's avatar

That whole "the right woman will change a man thing" is so interesting, I think it's such a subtle message in comparison to the "a man will complete you" etc that we often forget about it and miss when we're in it x

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Kate Leaver's avatar

Love you

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Ruth Cooper-Dickson's avatar

Woah.I felt all of that. Such an honest post and I wanted to be angry and cry all at the same time. I agree with Natalie, I’m sure it’s not all sweetness and light with her and it is very interesting how we think the “right woman” would change a man, I’ve thought about this about my ex and I’m not sure it’s true. Xxx

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Laura's avatar

My name is Silva Laura (

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Laura's avatar

My name is Silva Laura

from the Philippines. I was talking to a guy online for some time already and I've fallen for him, but he was really playful. i was thinking if i can have him fly here so we will get married and for him to stop his playfulness with girls. I wanted him to love me, just me, cause I don't want him to share with others. We are on both sides of the world. He is from Alaska and I am from the Philippines. So it's really difficult. I wanted him to be serious and love me more than ever. So I was going through comments on the web and came across DR. Orinoko, He helped me and I am now happily married to the love of my life, Dr. Orinoko can help you fix any relationship problems, he can help you get your ex back and he's very discreet. I promised to Announce him if my wishes came through. This is my little way to help others contact orinokosolutiontemple1@gmail.com or Whatsapp him on +2348160221951

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JosephinA's avatar

Hmm...maybe not. I think we all need to be honest to ourselves and learning to see and admit when our brain dismisses things. The only way we can do this imo, is journaling..every blimey day of a new relationship and maybe every bloody day of our life.

What were the fantastic things today?

What were the good things today?

What were the not so good things today?

What were (possible) red flags today?

That might help sort us woman out, stop the doubt and help to see when its time to let go.

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